Do Talk With Your Mouth Full

For most families throughout the UK, mealtimes provide a rare opportunity for the whole family to get together and participate in meaningful conversation. Busy work schedules and school time can often mean that the evening meal is the only chance many of us get to spend quality time with loved ones. But did you know that dinnertime conversations can directly relate to children’s confidence in their attitude to conversation and communication skills in general? A recent study carried out by The National Literacy Trust reveals that the amount of participation children have in mealtime conversations can affect their confidence in day-to-day communication.

So is this issue as black and white as it seems? Can talking at dinnertime be the definitive answer to improving children’s interaction with others? In September 2014 the Government wants all primary schools to renew emphasis on speaking and listening skills as part of their proposal for a revised National Curriculum. This article takes a look at what parents can do to help this development.

Active and Passive Communication

It is believed that 1 in 4 youngsters do not share mealtimes with their family at all. This can be detrimental to a child’s learning capabilities, as lack of family time and conversation at home can link to lower confidence and ability in communication skills elsewhere. However, children who do not eat with their family at all seem to have more positive attitudes towards communication than those who do eat with their family but without participating in conversation.

Passive listeners at home tend to act exactly the same in social and academic situations, as their confidence in communication is low. So if parents enjoy eating with their children it should be ensured they are actively involved in the conversation and are able to maintain a discussion.

Facts and Figures

The National Literacy Trust surveyed close to 35,000 8-16 year olds in November 2012 and found that approximately 87% of them sit to eat with their family at mealtimes. Of those, just over 74% participate in daily conversation whilst eating, whereas 7.1% revealed they rarely talk at all during family mealtimes.

Gender does not seem to be a determining factor as a close equal share of boys and girls say they sit with their family to eat. However, rather expectedly, age does seem to make a big difference as children are less likely to eat with their family the older they get. Almost 90% of 8-11 year olds are believed to share mealtimes with the family, whilst only 81% of 14-16 year olds can say the same thing. Ethnicity also plays a big part as more youngsters from Asian ethnic backgrounds (89.8%) spend time eating with family; compared to those from White (87.3%), Black (79.3%) and mixed (85.5%) ethnic origins.

Confidence in Conversation

Three quarters of children who regularly sit, eat and talk with their parents at mealtimes display the same level of confidence in communication during classroom and social discussions. This is in stark contrast to those who sit with their family but rarely participate in communication, as only 57% of such individuals share the same level of confidence as those who do share dialogue at the dinner

table. The same pattern is evident in those who are confident enough to speak out in front of their class; since 62.5% of active mealtime talkers feel confident enough to do so, compared to only 47.3% of inactive dinnertime participants. Surprisingly though, children who sit with their family in silence show less conversational confidence than those who do not eat with their family at all. Below is a table showing the average levels of confidence these children feel in class discussion:

Attitude to Communication Skills

The difference in attitude towards communication skills and the importance of conversation typically differs between each group of children. It is no surprise at all that the vast majority (just over 80%) of active mealtime participants agree that communication skills are one of the most important dexterities you can possess. On the other hand, only 66% of youngsters who do not talk at mealtimes agree with this. Inactive dinnertime participants are also less likely to agree that mealtime conversation provides them with more confidence in social situations. Overall, those who do not sit and talk regularly with their family show a slightly more adverse attitude towards communication in general.

Shared Time is Quality Time

It is no surprise at all that almost double the amount of inactive dinnertime participants, compared to those who do sit and talk to their family, agree that they spend more time watching TV than they do talking to their family members. Many parents may argue that is indeed watching television that prohibits confidence and ability with communication, rather than a lack of family time. Whatever the issue is, it is clear to see that regular conversation at the dinner table promotes confidence, academic capability and positive attitudes towards communication.

So despite most traditional parents’ instructions and etiquette references, it may actually be a good thing to talk whilst your mouth is full! The more conversation the better! Dedicating an hour or so every day to family time will not only establish a happier home life, but will also help children excel during their education and future career hopes. Talking about a child’s day-to-day activities will also reinforce the education they are receiving at school; allowing the monitoring of a child’s progression and enabling additional assistance to be provided where needed. The Government are doing there bit starting September 2014 – let’s make sure we all do ours at dinnertime!